The indignity of being an adult #2984

Every morning I am confronted with the reality of my ridiculous existence.

I frequently masquerade as a well-adjusted, high-functioning member of society.

Yet, every night before I go to bed, I have to braid my hair. 

Why? 

Because I wear a night guard. 

How are these things connected, you ask?

The night guard allows me to wake up without crippling jaw pain, however it prevents me from keeping my mouth totally shut at night.

Enter:  DROOL.

Due to my abnormal sleep patterns and creepy nightmares, my long hair frequently becomes Medusa-like while I slumber.

Without the braid, I wake up nearly smothered by my own drool-marinated locks.

Therefore, braid.

Sigh.